Thursday, September 13, 2007
Letting Go.
Results are out. I didnt do very badly, nor did i do very well.
God reminded me of some things yesterday. As I was making my way home from the library, I felt so small again. so lousy. so... useless. But whenever there's such moments, God never fail to make me feel better - some what like no longer ashamed of my incapabilities.
Yes, there are many things that happened and i felt shortchanged. but not anymore.
and didnt really tell you, and other people when asked cos its a very negative thought,
and i dont want you to feel the same way as i do . i rather remain silent.
I cant believe it, o levels are really coming so soon. my conflicting thoughts always left me both happy and sad at the same time. nothing will change the fact the o levels are coming, but i can change the way i feel about it! :) sounds familiar? HEHE.
And, i really dont like the vlee's so-called 'advices' because to a certain, he is brain washing us. i cant believe it when Dinah came to me saying, " why not we go pj? im serious " okay, she's really funny! but i mean, he only showed us one side of the coin, and many people thought they have already know what they should. i beg to differ. maybe its because im opinionated, and many of them do not behave the same way as i do. in any case, i would say that what he said is 'partial truth'.
tmr's Friday, and im such a slacker. i havent been really mugging, still trying to gain momentum and hopefully intensify the mugging sessions by next week. It is certainly a dry and torturous process to go through all over again. im dying. im dying for this emotional, physical, and mental draining process to stop. seriously, if all the students are so stressed-up and sometimes over-worrying about not doing well in examaninations, dont you feel there's something wrong ? wrong with what, you decide.
and i look at her today, i saw shadows of myself. wanting so much to pass my papers with flying colours, and almsot a delibrate effort to squeeze out every ounce of happiness that i have within me just to make sure i get so emo studying. sometimes, i think im quite a sadist, enjoying to see myself suffer when i study? funny, but today , im glad that i have not forgotten God in this entire picture. but i look at her, i wonder, but i dare not ask. i will be praying for her.
Life's not all about studying. seek first the kingdom of God, and all the rest will be added unto you.
God reminded me of some things yesterday. As I was making my way home from the library, I felt so small again. so lousy. so... useless. But whenever there's such moments, God never fail to make me feel better - some what like no longer ashamed of my incapabilities.
Yes, there are many things that happened and i felt shortchanged. but not anymore.
and didnt really tell you, and other people when asked cos its a very negative thought,
and i dont want you to feel the same way as i do . i rather remain silent.
I cant believe it, o levels are really coming so soon. my conflicting thoughts always left me both happy and sad at the same time. nothing will change the fact the o levels are coming, but i can change the way i feel about it! :) sounds familiar? HEHE.
And, i really dont like the vlee's so-called 'advices' because to a certain, he is brain washing us. i cant believe it when Dinah came to me saying, " why not we go pj? im serious " okay, she's really funny! but i mean, he only showed us one side of the coin, and many people thought they have already know what they should. i beg to differ. maybe its because im opinionated, and many of them do not behave the same way as i do. in any case, i would say that what he said is 'partial truth'.
tmr's Friday, and im such a slacker. i havent been really mugging, still trying to gain momentum and hopefully intensify the mugging sessions by next week. It is certainly a dry and torturous process to go through all over again. im dying. im dying for this emotional, physical, and mental draining process to stop. seriously, if all the students are so stressed-up and sometimes over-worrying about not doing well in examaninations, dont you feel there's something wrong ? wrong with what, you decide.
and i look at her today, i saw shadows of myself. wanting so much to pass my papers with flying colours, and almsot a delibrate effort to squeeze out every ounce of happiness that i have within me just to make sure i get so emo studying. sometimes, i think im quite a sadist, enjoying to see myself suffer when i study? funny, but today , im glad that i have not forgotten God in this entire picture. but i look at her, i wonder, but i dare not ask. i will be praying for her.
Life's not all about studying. seek first the kingdom of God, and all the rest will be added unto you.